Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
