Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
