How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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