Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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