i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize