There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize