Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
