Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize