I think I died a long time ago.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
