i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
