i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
barbara walters just said penis...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
