he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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