I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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