i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
