Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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