Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
