So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
