White coat. Heels.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize