Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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