Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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