I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she peed on how many people?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
