he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
