My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
3 2 1 whiskey
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
