god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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