BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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