Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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