I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
