Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
