Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The uberlube is also flammable
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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