I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
