ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
