I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
