I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
