I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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