so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
