Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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