I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
