Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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