I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
