Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
