if only i could text you this smell
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
