ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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