We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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