mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
