my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
