I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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