that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
