i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
