You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
