Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize