Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
