sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
