jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
