who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
