I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
