Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My ATM looks so different sober.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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