I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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