Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
