Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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