my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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