His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
