my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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