I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize