Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
