Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
