I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
