i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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