I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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