Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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